Fangirl'd
by Flame Within Ice
Summary: Poor Loki just got parole from whatever punishment Odin made him serve, and now he's met his fangirls!
1. Run, Loki, Run!

**Yeah, this is a really random story. I've always wondered what would happen if a character met their fangirls. This takes place sometime after The Avengers movie.**

**And I'm only going to say this once:  
**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Avengers, Loki, or any Marvel characters, just the fangirls I make up. So don't come pelting me with lawyers.  
**

Loki walked casually down the street, shooting a creepy grin at passersby now and then. Odin had given him a pretty lenient punishment, given the circumstances. He'd managed to gain some time on parole, and by golly if he wasn't going to enjoy it. A few people gave his hair some second glances, and more than one edged away upon seeing his smile, but they didn't seem to recognize him. _Amazing,_ he thought. _Mortals have such a fantastic ability to forget what happened only a short while ago. They have rebuilt the city, though, I see._

Loki's thoughts were interrupted by giggling. He looked around, wondering what it was. A few teenage girls were chattering as they walked by, nothing more. He shrugged and continued his walk, adding a little spring to his step to make his smile even more cheerfully creepy and sadistic. He noted that the Stark tower still hadn't repaired the other letters, and the "A" still clung to it as a disturbing reminder of getting smashed by the Hulk. Loki winced at the memory. There was nothing for it, though. He'd promised Odin he'd try and talk peacefully to them, and he _still_ hadn't gotten that drink Tony offered him.

* * *

Loki sat in the waiting room, unused to following people's orders. A young lady was staring at him from her chair with an intent, evaluating expression. He fidgeted and tried to ignore her gaze, which was starting to bother him.

"Are those contacts?" she finally spoke, referring to his brilliant green eyes.

"Um, no," Loki discreetly edged to one side of his chair, as if the minute distance would help. "They're my natural eye color."

"Interesting..." the lady paused, whipped out her phone, and sent a rapid-fire text. After waiting a few minutes, there was an answering "ding" as whoever it was responded. From where Loki was sitting, it looked like some sort of picture. The lady looked down at the phone, and then back at Loki. The god of mischief didn't like where this silent exchange was going. Had some humans not forgotten what happened?

The lady abruptly got up, giggled something under her breath, and went out the door. Loki froze. If he'd heard correctly, this young person had just whispered, "Oh my god it's Loki!" He made to run for the door, but at that moment the secretary announced, "Mr. Stark will see you now, Mr. Key." There was nothing for it but to face Ironman.

* * *

"Oh, it's you," Tony swiveled around from where he had been marching forward to shake hands and headed in the opposite direction.

"Miss me?" Loki asked half-heartedly. The encounter with the girl was still upsetting him.

"Not particularly, although I have to say it's a lot quieter now and not nearly as interesting," Tony inspected some bottles behind the bar. "I'm happy to see that you aren't wearing the reindeer suit today. Drink?"

"Yes...please," Loki attempted politeness. By the expression Tony gave him before pouring something, it wasn't working.

"I was under the impression that you weren't going to be coming back," Tony pushed the glass over to him, and Loki picked it up tentatively.

"Well, Odin saw a little sense in me being mad at him a while back, that kind of thing," he answered nervously.

"This isn't like you at all. I haven't seen you smile _once_. And you've got a fantastic evil grin you could be putting to good use," Tony glanced at him curiously.

"There was a strange mor-strange girl in the waiting room. I think she knows who I am," Loki glanced out of the window, eyes flitting over the crowds of people traversing the streets.

Tony sighed. "You may as well put on the antlers, because things are about to get rough." He walked over to where his Ironman suit was kept and put it on. Loki backed away, and his helmet and armor materialized as a protective reflex. "Relax, I'm not talking about fighting you," Tony gestured down at the street. "I'm talking about _them_."

* * *

A short private elevator ride later (complete with extremely long awkward silence), Loki and Ironman emerged on the street, to the audience of an earthquake. "What is that?" Loki looked around. The rumbling seemed to be coming from above ground, like a stampede.

"Fangirls," Ironman replied.

"What...are fangirls?" Loki didn't like the ominous way he said the word.

Around the corner came a massive group of people, 99.9% of which were of the female inclination. They traveled in one mass, all screaming one word. Or name, rather.

"LOOOOOOOKIIIIIIII!"

"AAAAAAAH!" Loki turned and ran as fast as he possibly could down the street. Ironman looked on with amusement as the sea of girls parted around him as if he were a streetlamp or mildly annoying obstacle and surged forward.

"LOOKII! LOKI! Do you like cats?"

"Loki, will you marry me?"

"I LOVE YOU LOOKII!"

"Can you smile, please please pleeeeease!"

"Do you know Tom Hiddleston?"

"LOOKII READ THIS LOVE NOTE!"

"LOKI I WROTE A FANFICTION ABOUT YOU!"

"YAAAAAAAARRGHHH!" Loki looked over his shoulder and ran even faster, not caring what in all of Niffleheim, Asgard, and Valhalla he looked like. His only hope was that he could outrun ten thousand highly excited girls before his supernatural stamina gave out.

**Might do something else with this one-shot, might not. I might turn it into a proper fanfiction story. Please read and review!**


	2. How To Solve a Problem Like Loki's Hair

**You guys are awesome. How could I leave that where it was with a bunch of you telling me to continue? Behold, Chapter 2!**

Loki dashed down the street at top speed, finally managing to duck into a side alley and hide behind some trash cans. He hardly dared to breathe as the stampede of girls went raging by. A few of them may have stopped to glance at Ironman, but Loki hadn't really looked to make sure. All that mattered now was that he was away from those crazy mortals.

"I believe this is your drink?" Tony had shed his Ironman suit, and was walking along the alley towards Loki's hiding place with the glass the god of mischief still had yet to drink from.

"Are they gone?" Loki asked cautiously. He was not usually one to be scared of humans, but that had truly been terrifying.

"Yeah, they're gone. I wouldn't count on it for long though, Reindeer Games," Tony helped him up and handed Loki his drink, then gestured at his outfit. "Especially not with that get-up. Or your slightly more normal one, for that matter. Come on, I'll find you something less conspicuous to change into."

Loki's armor shimmered, and was replaced with his "slightly more normal" Asgardian attire. "Why are you doing this?"

"Hey, fangirls happen even to the worst of us," Tony shrugged. "I couldn't let you go through life without warning you."

"I meant the clothes, the drink-are you forgetting that I _did _happen to let an alien race through a portal and try to take over your world?" Loki didn't like bringing that up, because it would also bring up the subject of why he wasn't serving his punishment. Which happened to have hurt. A _lot_.

"You seem calmer now, even if your hair says otherwise," Tony checked both ways on the street before leading them out. "And as much as I hate to admit it, we are kind of similar."

Loki sipped from his glass gingerly. Whatever Tony had put in here sure was strong, even for him. He decided to let the hair comment slide. "I suppose your little S.H.I.E.L.D. organization won't be too happy about me being back, though."

"Ah, yes," Tony agreed. "Them." And that was all he seemed to have to contribute on the topic.

"I don't have a weapon this time. Or any inclination to find one," Loki added helpfully.

"I don't think that'll stop them from building you a new cage. And Thor isn't around to get you out of it, either," Tony replied.

"Yet..." Loki muttered.

"Sorry? Did you say something?" Tony kept his head down, so that he wouldn't draw too much attention.

"No," Loki answered shortly.

"Man, you run fast!" Tony exclaimed as they finally neared Stark Tower. "I really should have gotten that on camera. Fury would've been thrilled."

Loki fumed silently. Odin had offered him lifelong parole _if _he behaved, and if it wasn't for the threat of his continued punishment hanging over his head...then the fangirls would be one Avenger short. He distracted himself by glaring at the people who cast his clothing strange looks. They scurried away like mice caught in the pantry.

* * *

Pepper greeted them with a shriek and the sound of papers being dropped. "He followed me home," Tony said, and jerked his thumb at Loki.

"I did no such thi-!" he started indignantly.

"Lighten up, Mr. Grinch, and behold the joys of humor." Tony didn't even turn around.

Pepper shot Loki a distrustful look and turned to Tony. "Why is he here? I thought he was supposed to be serving time back where he came from?"

"Yes, why _are _you here, Loki?" Tony finally looked at him.

"Odin gave me parole on Earth," Loki said testily. "If I were you I wouldn't look into that so freely."

"See, now you're already getting back to normal!" Tony cheered. "Pepper, how's the rebuilding coming?"

"Just fine. A few of the middle floors are still slightly damaged, but it's safe," she ignored Loki and proceeded with her work.

"Now, the fun part," Tony clapped his hands together once Pepper was gone and threw open his wardrobe.

"How is this in any way fun?" Loki eyed the strange clothes with apprehension. They seemed to lean heavily towards black, and there were several expensive business suits.

"It's only for you to hide from the Villain Fan Club until you buy some of your own," Tony shook a finger at him. "And I'll be wanting them back."

Loki picked out a darkish green shirt and some black jeans. He snapped his fingers, and the clothes appeared on him. Loki turned around to look at his reflection in the wall of glass, and sighed. He looked distinctly out of place in these mortal clothes, but they would have to do. At least they fit relatively well.

"And now we have to do something about that hair," Tony crossed his arms and inspected Loki's slicked-back spikes of black.

"We?" Loki queried suspiciously.

"Meaning I. Now hold still," Tony brandished a pair of scissors.

"NO!" Loki ran swiftly across the room, far out of reach. "You are not coming near me with those fiendish things!"

"Don't be silly. It's either haircut or psycho hair," Tony replied calmly, advancing in a slightly predatory posture.

"I like my psycho hair!" Loki's eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape route. The window was always an option.

"At the very least, brush out the spikes," Tony put down the scissors, much to Loki's relief, and picked up a brush.

Keeping an eye on the scissors to make sure Tony didn't make any move towards them, Loki edged forward and took the proffered brush. Retreating once more, he flattened most of the spikes, leaving a few at the bottom to frame his neck.

Satisfied with his appearance, and comforting himself with the thought that a hairbrush wasn't counted as a lethal weapon, except possibly in Fury's book, Loki allowed himself some mischief and chucked the item at Tony.

**You can say "thank you" now. I'm trying to keep everyone in character, help me if I deviate too much!**


	3. A Furious Dinner

**Bah! Evil computer! Now I have to retype this chapter!**

**Chapter Threeee!**

Much to Loki's disappointment, Tony caught the hairbrush. "Now, now, I _was _going to invite you to dinner, but if you're going to act like that, you can stay here and order pizza," he set the brush down on a table and punched a number into his phone.

Loki huffed and sat down in a chair. It was plotting time. First, he had to figure out how all those fangirls had found him so quickly. He'd barely been on Earth for an hour and they had swarmed. Also, why were there so many of them? He didn't think so many people recovering from an alien attack would be friendly to the guy who let them in.

"Right, the pizza guy will be here in five minutes since I was the one calling him," Tony put his phone away and trotted over to Loki. "Give him this money, _all of it_, and be sure to say thank you. Don't scare him off, or he'll be taking your dinner with him, understand?"

"I'm not a child!" Loki snapped with irritation.

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Tony set a twenty down on the bar and left his room at the top of Stark Tower before the god of mischief could respond.

* * *

"Fashionably late, Mr. Stark?" Fury asked sternly, looking at Tony over the top of his menu. The S.H.I.E.L.D. leader had assembled the Avengers for a nice, sit-down dinner, which was passing without incident so far.

"I had to feed my new pet," Tony replied with a grin and slid into his chair.

"Cat? Dog? Fish?" Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"Loki," Tony answered, scanning the appetizers.

There was a moment of silence while everyone's brains whirled with a healthy dose of confusion. "Would you care to say that again?" Steve asked quietly.

"Loki walked into my apartment this morning," Tony said. "Can I keep it?"

"Stark, this is ridiculous!" Fury managed to thunder in a whisper. "Why is he back here? Is Thor with him?"

"Nope," Tony tapped a nearby waiter and asked for something that sounded French and expensive. "All alone."

"Why?" Everyone at the table was carefully containing their seething anger, which in Bruce's case was nothing short of a miracle.

"Apparently Odin's giving him time off for good behavior. I got him to dress like a civilized person and comb his hair," Tony barely batted an eyelash at the universal glare everyone was giving him.

"Got him to _dress civilized?_ And that was enough for you to just leave him unguarded!" Natasha screeched in a surprisingly quiet voice, although a few people glanced over in minor alarm.

"He's a bit mellowed," Tony defended himself. "Fangirl attacks do that to people, although he's slowly getting back to normal."

"A what attack?" Steve asked, but this time he wasn't the only person not up to speed with the times.

"I'm a handsome playboy philanthropist, I know about these kinds of things," Tony explained as the waiter brought him his expensive French drink. "Fangirls. The portion of the girl population which is unnaturally attracted to mostly good-looking people. There's a whole section I've dubbed the Villain Fan Club."

"Why did you feel the need to save him from these people?" Fury hissed. It wasn't a good tone of voice for him. "Just let them kill him and we'll be rid of him."

"No, no, they'd do _much _worse to him if they caught him, and nobody should suffer that kind of fate, not even Loki," Tony shook his head.

"Take us to see him, _right now_," Fury waved the waiter over and informed him that they wouldn't, in fact, be dining tonight. "All of you be ready for a fight."

* * *

Loki prodded his piece of pizza experimentally to see if it breathed. The pizza deliverer hadn't seemed too bright, but Loki handed over all the money anyway, with the cheerful knowledge that it wasn't his. In return, he had gotten a...meal, if it could be called that, which appeared to be more grease and bread than something actually edible. Stark had done his best to find the worst pizza company in the state.

While he considered actually picking it up, the door to the penthouse burst open and all of the Avengers plus Fury rushed in, fully suited up and ready to roll, with the exception of Tony, who just looked embarrassed.

"Um," Loki said, aware of what he looked like. Crappy clothes, less menacing hair, and hovering contemplatively over an awful pizza. "Parlay?"

**Sorry for the shortish chapter I felt like that was a good place to end it. Y'all know where the review button is.**


	4. Justifiable Cause

**Aww thanks for the fantastic reviews everyone! I'm so glad you like it. So it's time for the fourth chapter, because I feel like spoiling you with all these updates.**

Loki pushed the pizza box away from himself and sat up straighter, attempting to look dignified. "Why are you here, Loki?" Fury was holding Phil Coulson's bazooka gun thing, which definitely wasn't a good thing. Especially now that they knew what it did.

_How many times has this been explained? _Loki wondered, but said, "Odin gave me time off on Earth if I promised not to misbehave." He did an inward cringe. He did sound like a little kid.

Fury gave him a look that suggested that he was expecting Loki to force-feed them the pizza any second now. "Why should we believe that? How do we know that you didn't just escape?"

"If Thor appears any time now, he can tell you," Loki shrugged. "He was there when Odin released me."

"Stark, you will be watching Loki from now on," Fury snapped at Tony, and then glared at him. "And _we _will be watching _you_."

"What, in case we make out or something?" Tony asked in disgust. Loki clamped his mouth shut before he said anything about that remark. He wrapped his hands around the chair's armrest and fumed silently. This being good idea was harder than it looked.

Fury pointedly ignored Tony and stalked out of the room, barking orders to the other Avengers, who all treated Tony and Loki to looks of annoyance and hatred, respectively.

* * *

"So..." Tony said once they were gone. "I don't think S.H.I.E.L.D. would be too pleased if I made you sleep outside, and not because they'd be worried for your health. They'd probably say that leaving you right here while I slept was a rash decision, so would you like the closet?"

"What?" Loki hadn't been paying attention on account of his imagination coming up with creative ways of torturing Ironman.

"I'll lock you in and everything," Tony continued earnestly. "Because I'm _responsible_."

"They're watching us right now, aren't they?" Loki asked.

"Probably."

"I am a Norse god. I do not require sleep," Loki announced.

"Mm," Tony replied. "You're still getting locked into the closet."

"I'll jump out and scare you in the morning," Loki threatened.

"Creeper."

* * *

**Somewhere in a random warehouse somewhere in New York City...**

_[Figures sit in the shadows. There is a low chatter, punctuated by giggles and fits of laughter. Three people stand around a table, dimly lit and displaying a Lego model of Stark Tower. A Lego Iron Man is attached to the outside deck at the top.]_

"Reconnaisance reports that Loki-"

"SQUEE!"

"-that Loki is being detained by the enemy, Iron Man, otherwise known as Tony Stark."

_[A Lego Loki is also placed on the tower. The light catches nails painted green and gold.]_

"Our spy reported that Loki went into the waiting room of this place and asked for a meeting with Stark..."

_[There is a pause for emphasis.]_

"...of his own _free will._"

_[Gasps.]_

"Operation: Free Loki begins now."

* * *

"I thought you were going to jump out and scare me," Tony sat down at his table, drinking coffee and working through a pile of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. Loki had been adventurous and was now cautiously nibbling at a piece of toast with grape jelly on it, and a tiny glass of orange juice.

"The door proved harder to break down than originally thought," he sniffed.

"So I heard. The somersault when you came out was a nice touch," Loki watched with fascination as Tony said this and downed a massive forkful of eggs.

"Did you just hear something?" Loki asked abruptly. "Kind of like a _thump_?"

"Oof," said a girl's voice.

"Oh, look, we have fangirls," Tony commented, saying this in the same tone of voice one would use when saying, "Oh, look, there's a cockroach."

Loki turned slowly in his chair and stared at the girl currently lying on the floor holding a small saw with a pointed tip and a vaguely squareish piece of roof. He attempted to scoot around the table, but the girl caught the movement and jumped up with surprising agility. Loki froze. Would Odin consider this misbehaving? He hoped not. Keeping one hand behind his back, Loki prepared a small ball of energy, enough to knock the girl out, but hopefully not out the window.

"Looooo-" the girl began, and Loki hit her with the magical energy. _Oops_, he thought as she flew backwards and smashed out the window, landing on the deck.

Tony sighed. "Why is it that you enjoy breaking my house so much?"

"Justifiable cause this time," Loki shot back, inching slowly out of his chair and edging towards the now unconscious fangirl.

"I can't disagree with that," Tony admitted, getting up to help. The two of them climbed out through the hole in the window and crept up on the girl. Loki prodded her with a bit of broken glass before Tony shot him a look that made him put it down guiltily.

* * *

Several hours later, the girl blinked open her eyes and discovered that she was tied firmly to a chair. Across the table was The Detainer, and the object of her affections. She attempted to speak, but was interrupted by a gag.

"Know this, fangirl," Loki said cautiously, and then stopped as the girl's eyes clung to him like a puppy. Loki turned to Tony. "Perhaps you should speak to her."

"Right," Tony began. "Why the heck did you saw a hole in my roof? If you start spouting lovey-dovey nonsense, Loki'll knock you out again."

"That would be _wonderful_," the girl said as soon as the gag was off, causing Loki to rethink his decision and snuff out the already forming ball of magic.

"The hole in my roof? Why?" Tony asked impatiently.

"We have to rescue Loki from The Detainer," the girl said dreamily, eyes shining.

"Okaay, that's creepier than you controlling people with the spear thing," Tony said softly to Loki. "Why do you feel the need to do this?"

"We wish to give this world to Loki so that we can be loved by him..." the girl sighed.

Loki hit her with the ball of energy.

"I thought you weren't going to do that," Tony leaned back in his chair.

"Justifiable cause," Loki scooted his chair all the way back to the bar, and then behind it for good measure.

**Dun dun dunnnn! The fangirls are a bit more insane than usual...**


	5. Off She Goes And She's Gone

**Hoorah! Chapter 5! Sorry I haven't updated in a few days, the beginning of summer had got me a little distracted...**

_[The warehouse is seen again, along with the Lego replicas of Stark Tower and a few other landmarks. The light dimly illuminates painted nails, and a clenched fist.]  
_

"They're fighting again..."

_[There is a sigh.]_

"Well, it was only a matter of time."

"The Operation has failed and our agent has been taken captive by the Detainer. This only succeeds in making things worse."

"How _did _Agent Clarinet get on top of Stark Tower?"

"Agent Clarinet?"

"I don't know her name. That was the first thing I thought of."

"Does she even play the clarinet?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

"I'll go break up that fight before it gets even worse..."

_[There is another sigh, followed by the sound of a chair being pushed back. Footsteps echo across the warehouse floor.]_

"No way! He's mine! I claimed him first!"

"Liar! Everybody knows I've been obsessing over him the longest!"

"Have not!"

"Have too!"

"Have not!"

"Have too!"

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Cut it out. _None _of you will get to even _see_ him if you start fighting like this."

_[An embarrassed silence settles over the fangirls. It does not occur to the remaining girl at the table that her original question was never answered.]_

* * *

Tony ensured that the gag was firmly in place before he walked away from the fangirl. He looked up at the hole in the roof, and then at the broken window and glass everywhere. "Honestly, Loki, why must you be so hard on my house? We've just finished repairs."

Loki was sulking moodily on a bar stool, and a few of the flared spikes in his hair were beginning to pop back up. He shot Tony a resentful glare and remained silent.

"All right, fine, blame _me _for the crazy people," Tony held up his hands. "You don't have your little scepter thingy to make them stop fangirling, is that why you're so mad?"

"I thought your security was sufficient enough to alert us to the entrance of such a person," Loki hissed, and tapped his fingers on the bar.

"What about you and your godly hearing?" Tony challenged. "You didn't notice her 'til she dropped onto my floor."

"You didn't notice her sawing a hole in your _roof_!" Loki spat back.

Tony and Loki paused as they considered something. Together they eyed the fangirl curiously, and then gazed at the roof. Clouds on a blue sky could be seen through the hole. "How...exactly...would you say she got up there in the first place?" Tony asked carefully.

"If those people have somehow gotten ahold of magic..." Loki covered his eyes with one hand.

"Or a helicopter..." Tony added.

"How would we not have heard a helicopter _and_ someone sawing a hole in the roof?" Loki pointed out.

"None of those flying motorcycle things the Chitauri had are still intact, are they?" Tony asked nervously.

Loki's answer was something that was probably a bad word up in Asgard.

* * *

Agent Clarinet blinked open her eyes to see the object of her affections and the Detainer caught in a conversation. _Aww, _she thought. _He's soo cute when he's mad._

After testing the gag and flexing her hands a few times, Agent Clarinet worked her fingers around the ropes to where they were knotted. Ah, so neither of them were Boy Scouts. She hadn't really expected that from Loki, but you never knew with Stark the Detainer. After some false leads which resulted in a sharper constriction of her bonds, Agent Clarinet managed to get one knot undone, all the while watching the dialogue between Tony and Loki to see if they looked her way. A few times they did, and she closed her eyes before they could see she was awake and up to no good. She rotated her wrists, and discovered that the rope was now loose enough to slip out of.

Agent Clarinet watched the two through half-closed eyes, waiting for her moment.

* * *

"...'m not psycho, I'm just troubled and adjusting," Loki finished defensively. They had managed to get extremely off topic in a relatively short amount of time, and Loki found himself having to explain the whole "I'm an adopted Frost Giant" thing to Tony Stark.

"Adjusting. Right," Tony rolled his eyes. "ANYWAY, as I was saying, how did the fangirls manage to get that thing working again, if indeed they do have one of the Chitauri's vehicles?"

"I haven't the slightest idea. I think we're lucky those worm-beast-things were more alive than vehicle, otherwise we'd be dealing with a hundred fangirls dropping from the sky," Loki said in exasperation. This comment cause both of them to automatically look up, as if the mere mentioning of such a haunting idea could make it come true.

"Let's go get Fury and tell him we have a problem, and that they're more organized than we thought," Tony cast a final glance at the tied-up fangirl, who was playing a very convincing unconscious. He seized Loki by the shoulder and half-dragged him out of the penthouse.

"There's no need for that, I can walk," Loki protested feebly. "Do you actually think I'd _want _to stay in the same room as that creep?"

* * *

Ah, good. The moment was here. Agent Clarinet slipped out of the ropes and untied her gag, spitting it unceremoniously out of her mouth. She gave a brief bird call to the roof, and another rope dropped down through the hole. Agent Clarinet climbed up to where another fangirl was waiting beside an idling Chitauri vehicle.

"Hey," the other girl greeted her. "I was beginning to think that Loki had kidnapped you. Not that that would be a _bad _thing, necessarily, but..."

"I was in a room with him for a _whole hour_!" Agent Clarinet practically swooned into the flying machine.

"Stop bragging," the other girl chided, a bit miffed, and piloted the thing off through New York.

**Oh no! The fangirl has escaped! What mischief will they get into next? Probably a lot, considering who they're fangirling...anyway, the review button is so bold and pretty now, it's practically BEGGING you to press it!**


	6. Mythology Says WHAT?

**Yay here goes chapter 6! I've been getting so many good reviews on this. Thank you all of you who reviewed!**

**But first, an interview with Loki!  
**

_FWI: So, what exactly was your punishment?  
_

L: I'd really rather not say. It did involve Niffleheim, which corresponds to a...certain place which everyone knows about and no one wants to go to. Still too painful to talk about, but I'm lucky Odin didn't kill me.

_FWI: What was your first thought when you saw those fangirls running up the road?_

L: For a few seconds there, my mind went completely blank, and I kind of froze. It was like I was an antelope seeing a stampede of lionesses. And then I heard what they were screaming, and...well...I really didn't want to find out what would happen when they caught me...

_FWI: As a final question before I start off on the actual story, have you read one of our Norse mythology books?_

L: Why would I need to do that?

_FWI: Oh...no reason. Just curious. Carry on._

* * *

"So where is this person now?" Fury looked around the top floor of Stark Tower. The very _empty_ top floor, which appeared to be missing a key ingredient.

"She was right there!" Tony gaped, pointing at a chair in the middle of the room. "We tied her up and everything!"

"Maybe she had someone waiting on the roof?" Loki suggested timidly, because Fury hadn't let the god of mischief out of his glare range in the entire journey there. It was beginning to get on his nerves.

"And they just flew away, then?" Fury snorted.

"Yep," Tony answered. "We think they found one of the Chitauri's machines that crashed and fixed it up to make it fly again."

"But you don't know this for sure..." Fury raised his eyebrows.

"Not that anybody ever listens to me willingly, but we do now," Loki noted conversationally, pointing to the window. Fury and Tony turned their heads just in time to catch the flash of sunlight off of an alien vehicle zipping by level with the top of Stark Tower.

The S.H.I.E.L.D. leader watched without comment, and then turned around and marched back out the door in silence. "You don't think we've upset him, do you?" Tony looked at his disappearing back.

"What, is he disappointed that I was right?" Loki had moved over to a stack of books Tony had sitting next to a chair, and began flipping through them with the critiquing eye of a burglar looking for something valuable to steal.

"You won't find much you don't know there, I'm afraid," Tony nodded at the books. "Just a bit of research when your brother appeared. Can't say it did any help, really."

The title of the book currently in Loki's hands was _Norse Mythology_. "That isn't surprising. What humans thought of us might be somewhat different to what we actually are like."

Loki opened the book to a random page with a picture of an eight-legged horse. "How interesti..." Loki froze, and raised his eyes carefully to meet Tony's. "Tell me you don't actually believe this."

"Which bit?" Tony replied cheerfully.

"_I think you know which bit!_" Loki growled.

"Oh, the bit about you giving birth to an eight-legged horse? Yep, I believe that completely. You definitely seem like the girl to do it," Tony continued to smile, although he was hoping he hadn't angered Loki too much. The god's face was turning an interesting color as he fought the urge to shoot him, cut out his tongue, and then shoot his tongue. If Loki didn't have the threat of continued punishment and/or death hanging over him like a spiraling funnel cloud, Tony would no doubt be regretting his answer in the afterlife.

At the moment, Loki was making an amusing "eeeeeeee" noise, like he was a potato about to explode.  
Tony watched him cautiously now, to make sure he wasn't going to commence destroying his house.

Finally, Loki gulped at the air with the expression of a dying sea monster and spat out a relatively calm sentence. "You are joking. That wasn't funny." It wasn't a question, just a statement of fact.

"Of course it was a joke. Come on, a horse with _eight legs_? You could at least have named it something more creative," Tony rolled his eyes.

**I'm so sorry about the shortness of the chapter and how long it took me to update! My muse was running away from me and I got distracted away from my computer often. I will try to make up for it, but please continue reviewing!**


	7. America the Crazy

**Here comes chapter 7! Sorry about the late-ish update, and this one was supposed to be published on July 4, but I didn't have it finished in time. Taking a break from the main story line to celebrate Independence Day!**

Tony set the ice pack on his head and groaned. He should have seen that coming. Loki had grabbed the nearest object (the hairbrush of doom yet again), and flung it with the speed and accuracy of a very irritated god of mischief. The culprit in question was now sitting across from him in a chair, looking very smug indeed.

"You don't have to look so pleased about it," Tony grumbled.

"Of course I do, silly human," Loki purred, reverting slightly back to his old self. "You 'joked' about a very serious topic to me; therefore you should have known you would receive a consequence."

"Did you have to chuck it so _hard_?" Tony winced as he gingerly prodded a small bump on is forehead.

Loki opened his mouth. "Don't even _think _those words," Tony threatened, shaking the ice pack at him. Loki grinned. "Justifiable cause."

"Great, you've found a new phrase to say besides 'Kneel!' Just what I was hoping for."

"You're welcome."

* * *

The next morning dawned with an Avengers meeting, which consisted of three guns trained on a mildly annoyed Loki, and a Steve Rogers trying to refrain from bouncing up and down in his chair.

"Do you know what today is, Loki?" Fury asked calmly.

"July 4? The fourth day of the seventh month in your human calendar?" Loki answered. Steve shot him a glare.

"Today is our _Independence _Day. The day we declared our _freedom_," Fury growled.

"I get the picture, you don't have to explain it to me," Loki crossed his arms. "How many times do I have to tell you that I'm _over _controlling the world?"

"So we are going to introduce you to our holiday," Steve smiled even more creepily than Loki. He leaned away from crazy patriotism man slightly.

"Revenge!" Tony cried, still sporting his hairbrush-induced bump.

* * *

Over the course of the day, Loki was dragged all over New York City, was forced to consume a hot dog and listen to the Declaration of Independence at least five times while holding one of the little cloth flags on a stick. When Steve approached him with red, white, and blue face paint, Loki actually hissed and backed away.

Evening came, and still the Avengers were relentless. Loki was hauled to numerous patriotic speeches and then finally deposited on the top of Stark Tower on a picnic blanket as darkness fell.

"What is the point of this?" Loki snapped. "I have gotten your not very subtle message. I will not try to take over your country again, and I wasn't planning to anyway."

"But the Fourth isn't over yet, my dear…" Tony winked knowingly at him. "And with you being hauled all over the place, the fangirls won't find you!"

"I think I'd prefer the fangirls at this moment," Loki sighed, and turned his face towards the river. "And what is that big crowd doing over there?"

He was answered by the first fireworks shooting into the air and exploding. The god of mischief leaped up, eyes wide with terror. "What the bloody—" His sentence was cut off with a strangled gasp as more fireworks shot up, again and again. It reminded him of thunder…which reminded him of Thor.

"Is my brother behind this?" Loki whipped his head desperately from side to side, but the Avengers merely shook their heads.

"This is all us," Steve replied. "Behold, fireworks!"

"Your country is _insaaaaane!_" Loki screeched.

* * *

_[Heels click across the floor of the warehouse. The distant booms of fireworks can be heard through the walls.]_

"Our dearest Loki has been subjected to torture all day!"

"This cannot continue!"

"We must defeat the Avengers, and give Loki this earth free of the things that scare him!"

"But he's so cute when he's scared…"

_[There are several sighs at this comment, and the fangirls sit down and attempt to think of a new plan.]_

**Haha thanks for reading sorry I just thought of what Loki would think of the New York 4th of July fireworks and it amused me to no end. **


	8. The Ninjas Are Coming

**Oh, look, chapter 8 and more than 80 reviews! Thanks so much!**

**PLEASE READ THIS NOTE: I will be gone for the next two weeks, July 10-22, and then another two after that, July 23-August 4. First, I am off to Europe and then to volunteer at a summer camp pretty much as soon as I get back. In between, I will be posting a chapter, which I already have handily written. So look for the next chapter on July 22!**

Loki had decided that he wasn't talking to Tony. "Oh, come on, was being a little patriotic really _that _bad?" Tony complained as Loki steadfastly refused to eat his breakfast, and sat facing the wall.

"That wasn't a _little _patriotic," Loki replied shortly. "That was cruel and unusual punishment, which I believe is outlawed in your country."

Tony shrugged and helped himself to Loki's untouched plate of pancakes. "According to Fury, some girls broke in yesterday. As he expected."

This got the reaction he'd intended. "Fangirls?" Loki jumped up and whirled around. "And Fury's actually starting to take them seriously?" he added.

"Yep and yep," Tony devoured a syrup-saturated pancake. "We figured out how they managed to get past the alarms. The Chitauri vehicle was interfering with the sensors. I guess alien technology and ours don't like each other."

"What did they do?" Loki looked wildly all over the room, as if he expected them to start coming out of the walls.

"Not much," Tony gulped down his coffee and got up, gesturing to the air with his fork. He looked like a man about to make a speech, only with questionable sanity. "They cut _another _hole in my roof—that's two now, so I really hope it doesn't rain anytime soon—and dropped in on little ropes, all suited up like ninjas."

At this moment, Pepper decided to open the door. Neither of them noticed, and they continued their discussion. "So it was ninjas, then?" Loki looked up at the ceiling and its two holes that reminded him of eyes.

"Ninjas," Tony confirmed.

"Am I missing something here?" Pepper asked. "I could have sworn you just said ninjas broke in."

"No, you heard correctly," Tony walked over and clapped an arm on her shoulder. "I'm afraid we have an infestation."

"Should I call pest control?" Pepper looked bored.

"We _are _the pest control," Fury answered for Tony as he came up behind Pepper with the rest of the Avengers. "I see you finally let Loki know why we were dragging him all over the place yesterday."

"You knew the whole time!" Loki turned on Tony accusingly.

"Your expression during the fireworks was priceless," Tony grinned. "And definitely worth getting hit in the head with a hairbrush."

"I should probably be going, then," Pepper turned around. "I was going to talk to you about the reconstruction plans for those middle floors, but I'll come back later." She walked away, leaving the Avengers behind.

"So, what's the plan for dealing with these nosy girls?" Tony crossed his arms.

"We've been trying to locate their hideout, and they've certainly given us a run for our money," Fury opened the file he was carrying. "At first we didn't think they were anything to worry about, but after we figured out they were using a Chitauri vehicle we decided it needed our attention."

Loki raised an eyebrow silently. _Oh, so _you _figured it out now, did you? Your former enemy most certainly did not have that information before you. _

"We've narrowed their possible hiding place to one of these warehouses near the river," Natasha spoke up, pulling out a map and pointing.

"Should be simple enough," Bruce shrugged. "They're girls obsessing over a guy. What kind of defenses could they have thought up?"

"If they've managed to get one of those flying things working again, then they must be smart," Steve noted. "We should be careful."

* * *

_[Meanwhile, in a warehouse along the river, the fangirls are planning their counterattack.]_

"They'll be sending out people to look for us any second now. According to Agent Clarinet and Agent Artistic Flute, they discovered a camera filming their movements within the Detainer's tower."

_[A hand is raised.]_

"Yes! Question?"

"Why is everyone named after instruments? And what's an artistic flute?"

"Bad question. Next!"

"Can we wear the ninja suits again? That was fun!"

_[Another girl cheers in agreement.]_

"Of course."

_[In the gloom, the girl grins and places Lego Avengers on a map of New York.]_

"Move out."

**Thanks for reading! Sorry that I'm leaving you with a cliffhanger for two weeks, but the next chapter is on its way! Please review!**


	9. Bleepity Bleep

**Welcome back! It's time for that long-awaited next chapter. And man am I jet-lagged.**

Fully suited up, the Avengers prowled the streets near the river, looking like very strange thugs. "No sign of any activity here," Steve spoke into his communicator. "If we're nearing their hideaway, we'd be seeing more girls."

"You have no idea what that sounded like, do you?" Tony turned his head to look at Captain America.

"Can it, Stark," Fury growled through the connection, sounding like an angry Chihuahua. "Focus."

"Focus. Right," Tony muttered. "How're you holding up, Reindeer Games?"

"Stop calling me that," Loki shot back from beneath his helmet. It felt good to be in his Asgardian armor again. And also not on the receiving end of the Hulk Smash. The funny thing was, his punishment had consisted of something similar, only there was banjo music involved.

Amid their bickering, a girl dressed in black ambled across the street, taking in the assembled Avengers, before setting off down the road at a leisurely pace.

"...and then there's this line in the song that says 'they wouldn't let poor Rudol—' OI!" Tony cut off his explanation of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer to start chasing after the girl in black. Loki followed after, keeping up with Tony as Iron Man hovered over the ground, quickly gaining on the walking girl.

"Wait, she's not running!" Natasha called. "That means she's up to something!"

As if in answer, the girl stopped, turned around, and grinned. Then she shot off down the street like a rocket. Immediately all of the Avengers charged after her, running or flying at top speed. This put Clint, Natasha, and Bruce at a definite disadvantage, as Steve the super soldier left them in the dust. If Bruce had been in his giant green rage monster form, then he would also have been taking the lead, and possibly some buildings as well.

"What is that girl _on_?" Tony shouted, and Loki wasn't sure what kind of meaning he intended for that.

Indeed, the fangirl was keeping just ahead of rocket-propelled Iron Man, and her legs were a blur as they pounded the pavement. Every now and then she would slow down and look back to see if they were following. And then speed back up.

"There, she's headed to that warehouse on the right!" Tony yelled into his communicator.

"Wait, Tony, this doesn't feel right…" Loki said, slightly on edge for some reason.

"No time for that," Tony called back. "We have to get her!"

* * *

_[The door to the warehouse slams open, and the Avengers are greeted by the sight of the girl in black melting with the darkness. They look at each other and step forward. Gathering around the lamp-illuminated table, they gaze at the Lego model.]_

"Tony…"

"I know."

_[There is a rainbow of colorful language. The Lego model depicts the Avengers standing around a table in a room. And completely surrounded by ninjas.]_

"Heeeyaaa!"

_[The attack starts with all the ninjas leaping down from various hiding spots, wielding a disconcerting array of weapons.]_

"Don't you think you're a little young for this?"

_[The Iron Man gives a feeble protest and swats his attacker away. She hits the floor and rolls skillfully, then jumps a good six feet in the air.]_

"Their reflexes and senses have been heightened somehow!"

"Great. Just what we need. Super-fangirls."

"Always ready with a joke, huh, Tony?"

"Natasha, did you know there's a cockroach behind you?"

"Yaaagh! Get it off!"

_[Black Widow swipes a fangirl from where she is attempting a chokehold and fires a tranquilizer. There is a flash of magic, and an icy blast is sent towards a group of fangirls alternately attacking and ogling Captain America.]_

"Thanks for that."

"They were creeping me out."

"They creep me out too, don't worry."

_[Comments aside, the dark warehouse is full of the sounds of fighting. Finally, the fangirls withdraw their forces and slip away into the gloom once more.]_

* * *

"They're all gone," Tony looked around as the lights came on. "What?"

"Why did they leave?" Clint lowered his bow slowly. "What was the purpose of leading us here?"

"To get what they wanted," Tony said sagely.

"Well, obviously, but why—"

"Do you see Loki anywhere?" Tony gestured with his empty hands to the room that was missing a certain ostentatious helmet.

* * *

Loki groaned. He had been knocked out by some kind of magic, which was adding to his terror. Fangirls with magic. They had magic. _The creepers had magic. _"Bleep bleep bleep bleepity _bleep,_" Loki said, at least on family-approved television.

"Hi…" said a voice in front of him. Loki froze, and opened his eyes slowly to see a mass of girls gazing at him with pure adoration.

**Haha Loki has been captured by the fangirls. What will they do to him? Stay tuned for the next installment in two weeks' time! Thanks for hanging in there and don't forget to revieeeew! And if any of you caught the really obscure reference I worked in there, I applaud you.  
**


	10. I Have Another Army

**Sorry about the extra amount of time tagged on, but the start of marching band camp is somewhat exhausting. So here is the next chapter (finally).**

**It seems no one has caught that obscure reference yet. And no, it is not Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Hint: Youtube. Aah Youtube.**

**But anyway, here's chapter ten!  
**

Loki tried to close his eyes and pretend he was dreaming, except for the fact that he rarely had dreams, not to mention one this vivid. And the sound of fangirls fangirling was hard to ignore. Cautiously, he halfway opened one eye and spake thusly in a loud, irritated voice: "Go _away_, you psychotic, puny mortals!"

As one, the fangirl population kneeled, which might have pleased Loki several months previously, but now it was just creepy. "Did you not hear me?" he sighed. "I said go away. You're creepy. Disturbed. _I don't like you._"

There was silence. One of the fangirls stepped forward, a girl with curly brown hair. "I am Agent Clarinet." she paused, and motioned forward a girl with short black hair, who was currently wearing a shirt with some disgustingly adorable depiction of Loki on it, looking much too happy to be proclaiming 'you all shall kneel.' "And this is Agent Artistic Flute."

"Why instruments?" Loki questioned wearily, prepared for some ridiculous answer.

"Why not?"

_Okay, _Loki thought. _That is something I would probably say. Which only makes me more worried._

"We will present to you now the reconstructed version of your old staff, so that you can control the minds of the pathetic people who run this planet and rule it as you see fit," Agent Clarinet turned to the leader of the fangirls, the only other one standing, and nodded.

The leader was dressed in a floor-length, black, gold, and green dress with a one-arm sleeve thing going. Her heeled boots clicked on the floor as she marched forward holding an exact replica of Loki's spear. She set it on the floor in front of him and whirled around. "Cue the Loki Anthem!" And the fangirls exploded into random song.

_"Soft Loki,  
Warm Loki,  
Fangirls all must bow.  
Crazy Loki,  
Precious Loki,  
Kneel before him now."  
_

Loki didn't want to think about the bizarre song they were singing, but he was fighting back a grin at seeing the reconstructed staff. He didn't want to get their hopes up, now did he? Inside his head, he was dancing all over the place. They'd given him back his staff, never for once thinking that he might use it against them.

* * *

"So what exactly are we going to do?" Natasha asked Fury as they sat in S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, discussing the situation. "We can't just leave him there. Something bad might happen."

"Like the fangirl population getting wiped off the face of the earth?" Tony suggested.

"Not helping, Stark," Natasha snapped. "We're not sure how big their operation is, nor who they're working for, if anyone but themselves."

"If they've gotten their hands on magic, _something_ fishy is going down," Fury interrupted the argument before it could take off. "We should call in Thor."

"How do you plan on doing that? He's a world away at the moment," Tony snorted.

Fury raised a finger in the air, prepared to give a speech, and then closed his mouth. "Er..."

All of the Avengers stared at him. It was the most vulnerable they'd ever seen their leader, who hadn't a clue what to do now.

"We could wait it out for now and see what comes of it," Bruce said carefully.

* * *

Loki looked around at the fangirls, grinning like a madman. Those times of insanity were coming back to him, and he was greeting them warmly.

With a short, but very _evil _laugh, Loki launched himself into the air and carried out his plan.

* * *

"It's been half an hour, Steve. Cool it," Clint told the super soldier, who was pacing back and forth.

"You know, I think Loki can handle himself," Tony finally spoke. "He's got magic too, you know."

"What if he joins them?" Fury asked.

"Oh, I don't think he'll _join _them..." Tony slowly smiled.

* * *

The god of mischief surveyed his handiwork with some degree of pride. A large group of blue-eyed fangirls were now gazing up at him, with even more admiration if that were possible. But now they'd be following his orders.

Loki smiled his best smile yet. It was insane, and terrifying, and far too happy to be good.

**Short chapter, I know, but I reeeeally wanted to end it there. It just fit nicely. **

**Muahahahahahahaaaaaaa! What will Loki do with his fangirl army? Review and give me suggestions, because at the moment, I don't know any more than you do! HAHAHAAA!  
**


	11. Sporks Are Officially Evil

**I'm going to be posting once a week during August due to band camp from 8am-4pm every day. I'll squeeze in more chapters if I get the chance, but count on one once a week at least.**

"Please don't tell me what I think you're implying is true," Fury covered his eyes with one hand. "Just...no."

Tony shrugged. "Loki thinks those girls are crazy and extremely creepy, but that doesn't mean he won't use them to his advantage."

"So, essentially, what are we up against this time?" Natasha seemed to know the answer, but she wanted clarification.

"Pretty much what you'd expect."

* * *

The first order of business was to set up a place where a small army of fangirls could hide. It wasn't nearly as hard as Loki thought it would be. He simply found a different warehouse and set up living quarters for them. _With any luck, _Loki thought, _the Avengers will __think that I have a secret evil lair somewhere, and haven't been so obviously smart as to keep them in the same place while they go gallivanting around. _

"Agent Chinese Reed Flute," Loki instructed a pale Japanese girl with large eyes, "set up a reconnaissance team to keep an eye on the Avengers whenever they go out."

"Yes, your majesty," the fangirl obliged.

"Oh, and you can cut as many holes in Stark Tower as you like," Loki added with a grin, wondering how Tony would deal with that.

* * *

To his credit, Tony did not throw a tantrum and storm around in the Iron Man suit. He _did_ nearly have an aneurysm. After calming down, he looked up at the ceiling, and then around at the other Avengers. "I swear he did that just to spite me," he finally said.

"On the plus side, it's very artistic," Natasha pointed out. "You could say it's a new decorating style you're trying."

"Yes, very artistic _holes in my roof!_" Tony threw his arms in the air. "You don't need to put holes in Swiss cheese."

"Look, they made the constellation Draco for you," Clint pointed.

"I'm going to take that as a hint and start planning for a dragon invasion," Tony said shortly, stalking over to the window and looking out on New York.

"Come on, 'Tasha, let's leave Iron Man alone," Clint tugged her arm. "Let him sulk."

"I'm not sulking, I'm planning for a dragon invasion!"

"Yeah, he's sulking. Let's go," Fury turned around and lead everyone out of the penthouse.

* * *

"The Detainer now believes we have dragons, sir," Agent Chinese Reed Flute reported.

"Good. Good. Very good," Loki leaned on his spear happily. _And in the end, they'll realize they made all of this possible._  
"How are the experiments coming, Agent Clarinet?"

The curly-haired fangirl checked her clipboard. "We have successfully prolonged the energy used for the Chitauri vehicle by employing sporks."

_Er...what? _"How does that work?" Loki wondered aloud.

"Sporks. The evil offspring of a spoon and a fork, sir. They have a naturally inherent magic when crossbred multiple times."

Loki's thought train was in the process of going off a cliff. _Cross...breeding...dining utensils? What?! _

"So the origination of your magical powers came from sporks as well, is that it?" Loki asked carefully, trying not to sound as ridiculous as he felt.

"Yep!" Agent Clarinet smiled cheerfully and walked back to her lab.

_That's...really..._At this point, Loki's thoughts were heading towards _whfftbzzztcracklemmmmmmmmmm..._He decided to take a walk.

* * *

"Loki!" Tony jumped up from his dejected position in a chair and pointed a menacing finger at him. "How could you! My roof!"

"Hello, Stark," Loki admired the constellation on the roof. "Looks nice."

"Why are you trying this whole mess again?" Tony sighed. "It's not going to work any more than it did the last time. You'll just go straight back to the punishment you worked so hard to get let off of."

"Oh, I'm not," Loki smiled briefly. Tony didn't like that smile, no matter how innocent it was. "I'm getting information out of them."

"Like how they got magic?" Tony was curious despite himself.

"You don't want to go there..." Loki groaned. "Let's just say they're insane and leave it at that."

"Regretting your decision so soon?"

"No, not really. They're actually quite helpful at times," Loki crossed his arms and stood there for a moment.

"You...don't really have dragons, do you?" The god of mischief was amused to hear a note of slight disappointment in Tony's voice.

"No, I don't."

"Well, that's good to hear," Tony still sounded dejected now that the prospect of becoming a medieval dragon-killing knight was out of the question.

"...Yet," Loki finished, and teleported out of the room.

* * *

"So far, the only person affected has been Tony," Natasha reported to Fury. "We're not sure when he'll go after the others, or what he'll do."

"Well?" Fury raised an eyebrow. _"Find out fast._ We need to figure out how to get in touch with Thor."

"Hey, didn't Thor shout up to Heimdall or whoever to open some bridge when he first came to Earth?" Clint suggested.

"That bridge was broken. But there is a chance he can hear us and find a way to get down here, so we can give it a try," Fury conceded.

**Whoo here comes Thor! Oh yeah, and the whole spork thing is a vague reference to an xkcd comic. If you don't know what that is, _find out fast._ Because it is awesome.**

**Heeheehee please review!  
**


	12. A Hypothetical Situation

**Yeppers time for the weekly chapter update! Hoorah!**

Loki stood in the fangirls' lab, pointedly ignoring the fact that all the technology was being powered by a few sporks. He didn't want to ask how this was working, mainly because it was magic and you didn't _ask _how magic worked, but also because it would involve bringing up the subject of magical silverware. Instead, he was content to stand and watch the proceedings with interest.

Agent Clarinet was currently supervising as Agent Artistic Flute dumped questionable ingredients into something that looked like a large concrete mixer. It connected to an enclosed steel cage, which shook slightly and spat multicolored flames from beneath the door.

"Have you fixed the rainbow problem yet?" Loki asked, spear in hand.

"We've isolated the spork responsible and are currently lecturing it sternly, sir." Agent Clarinet smiled and opened the cage door. Inside was a very good life-size representation of a traditional Western dragon. It was also incredibly _solid_, and not amused in the slightest.

"Ah, good. Let's deliver this to S.H.I.E.L.D., shall we?"

* * *

"Oi! Heimdall! We kinda need Thor down here right about now! Heimdall! Can you hear us?!" Tony was beginning to feel very stupid after shouting at the sky for five minutes. "Any minute now, really that would be fine!" The Avengers were milling about several miles north of New York City on an isolated hill overlooking the Hudson River, alternately checking their watches and shouting to another world.

"I don't think it's working. Maybe it has to be an Asgardian." Tony sighed and sat down a rock.

"Give him some time. We don't know how-" KABOOM!

"Makes sense, when you think about it," Tony said, after his heart stopped pounding from the sudden roar of thunder.

"Greetings, friends!" Thor boomed, nearly as loud as his transportation device. "What have you called me here for?"

"Not much. The weather's been nice, up until now, and the re-building's nearly finished. Your brother's gone psycho again, by the way," Tony added.

"What is it this time?" Thor didn't look too surprised to hear the news.

"Well...it involves a fangirl army and a dragon invasion."

"STARK!"

"Okay, okay, a _hypothetical _dragon invasion."

* * *

Said hypothetical dragon was currently in the back of an 18-wheeler driven by sixteen-year-olds, chugging its merry way towards S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. Loki had decided to teleport his way over there after seeing the girls' celebration at being handed the keys to a very large vehicle. All was on schedule, with the truck's reinforced lining of flame-proof metal, courtesy of the spork population. The dragon, whose mood had not improved, was throwing a tantrum a toddler would be proud of.

"Calm down, we're almost there," Agent Chinese Reed Flute told it soothingly. "Agent Clarinet, please watch the road."

"But it's such a boring channel..."

"It will get much more interesting if this crashes and the dragon comes out," Agent Chinese Reed Flute assured her.

"Nah, I've seen Godzilla and Jurassic Park enough times."

* * *

Loki was quite pleased when the truck rolled up to a neat stop beside him, intact and obeying the posted speed limit. He didn't want the police to take a look in the trailer.

The truck was eased up to the door and the back lowered. Loki smiled his evil smile as the dragon, flames starting in its throat, came barreling out and into the building, roaring obscenities in whatever language it spoke.

* * *

"What is going on in here? It is so noisy," Thor complained as they walked through headquarters on a suspended catwalk.

"Well, I think that's a few people screaming, that sounds like some kind of roar, and _that_, my friend, is a hypothetical situation."

**Sorry it's so short, this is where my muse decided to run out, and it's something of a cliffy anyway. I should have another chapter in less than a week, though (hopefully). If not, the usual time. Please review!**


	13. Oh?

**This is...the last chapter of Fangirl'd. **

The hypothetical dragon continued to run around, causing general mayhem and carnage. Loki, meanwhile, had used his magic to hide his presence and was sitting up in the roof, observing the Avengers with a happily maniacal smile on his face. The fangirls had done their job well.

This meant that Loki no longer required their services. A few other experiments had been lined up back in the warehouse, and no longer needed constant care from sporks. The fangirls had served their purpose, and when the dragon was done, Loki had decided on what he would do.

* * *

Moments before watching Loki release the dragon, Heimdall had received a message directed to Asgard. He had walked slowly away from his lonely post at the edge of the broken Bifrost and told Odin about it.

"I don't like this," the king said. "There is quite a large chance that he is playing a trick on us."

"He seemed sincere," Heimdall replied. "At least, I could not see what he was planning.

"Very well. I trust your vision, Heimdall," Odin conceded. "I will send a small contingent of soldiers to collect Loki at once."

* * *

The dragon had been coaxed into the 18-wheeler and was headed back to the warehouse, and Loki had once more teleported ahead. The Avengers had been left to clean up and tend to the wounded, as usual.

Loki watched as the dragon was put back in the metal experiment chamber. A few sporks lit up, and a humming started. There was a loud _pop! _and smoke streamed from beneath the door. Loki opened it and picked up the small stuffed animal dragon that now occupied floor space.

He packed it into a pressurized, waterproof container, along with some more experiments, and sent it ahead of him with magic.

Loki turned to the gathered fangirls. "Listen carefully," he said. "I do not exist. You never saw me, you never saw the Avengers. You were dreaming. Now go fangirl over this Tom Hiddleston person immediately."

With a click of his fingers, the spear's spell was broken, and the glowing blue eyes faded. The fangirls left and went their separate ways, ignoring Loki completely.

When they were all gone, there was a small knock on the warehouse door.

Loki opened it, nodding when he saw the Asgardian soldiers.

"What is this about, Loki?" one of them asked.

"I thought we'd play a little game," Loki said quietly, almost meekly. "I run and hide, and you try to find me."

"There is no ground you can cover, no mountains you can hide in, no place on the earth where you are safe," the warrior told him. "Give it up, Loki."

A small smile grew on his face.

"Oh?" the god of mischief said, and teleported.

**Now hold on, hold on, don't throw things. _This is not the end._ The end of this story, yes. But guess what? There'll be a sequel! Look for it sometime soon!**

**Please tell me what you thought of the story as a whole, and don't forget to do that in a revieeeeeew!**


End file.
